- A type of savoury cake, typically flat and round, made from batter and yeast, containing many small holes and served toasted, usually with butter.
- (context, UK, slang, uncountable) A person (or, collectively, persons) considered sexually desirable.
- w:Joan Bakewell, Joan Bakewell was famously described as "the thinking man's crumpet".
- John and his mates have gone out to find themselves some crumpet.
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